Lettuce

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while Lacan towards the end of his life spoke of the importance of 'neuroticising the lettuce', work remains to be done on this potentially important area. The neurotic lettuce is not to be confused with the discourse of the lettuce, which designates a social relationship. The formula for the hysterical lettuce is: ∑Ӝ…‰Ӛ√≠Ӝ. This may be explicated as "why doesn't my wife want to sleep with me anymore?"

Freud is reputed to have had lettuce with his Wiener Schnitzel on Sundays.

Jung grew lettuce in his neurotic garden. And danced around it. Which made his neighbours hysterical, and his cat psychotic. A special lettuce ceremony was performed on Tuesdays, to ward off dreams about symbolic castration.

Lacan's famous Borromean knot is a secret symbol for the lettuce. Failure to understand this fact has led to frequent misunderstandings of this lucid, if somewhat simplistic thinker.